Wherever I Go, There I am . . .

Dear you,

An old friend of mine (well, he isn’t that old, but we go back forty years) once told me “wherever you go, there you are.”  I smile remembering the circumstances.  James said this to me in the plaza of Lincoln Center in New York.  I was prepping to move to Chicago to pursue a master’s degree and “new things”.  Yes, I had goals, I had reasons.  But I think his words were meant to caution me about expectations of blissful change.  The geography would change.  However, this would not guarantee an erasure of any existential Joyce thing I was dealing with.  Right.  I am, anywhere and everywhere:

Restless.

A seeker of a not bland utopia.

So, restless me needed a change of geography this past Labor Day weekend.  I journeyed to Tallahassee, our Florida capitol, for that change.  It is, after all, a city with colleges, a diverse population, and green, green, green spaces everywhere.  The hilly landscape surprised me after years of living on the flat coast.  Despite random hotel noise (god, everywhere people are door slammers and stompers), I enjoyed my time in a cat friendly site.

But then there was this on Saturday afternoon:

A caravan of Trump trucks headed into downtown to counter #BLM marchers.

I saw about twenty vehicles with the ubiquitous Trump flags, a few featuring the very special Trump-photoshopped-to-look-muscular-while-holding-machine-gun picture.  I just slowed down and sighed.  This was a scene I had hoped to leave behind for a few days.  Tallahassee is supposed to be a liberal town, right?  Right.  But still not homogenous in terms of political ideology.  Wherever I go, there they are too.  And wherever I go, there I am, accompanied by my current political discomforts.

Back at the hotel, I relaxed with a cold cerveza and cigarette by their little lake, surrounded by oaks draped in Spanish Moss:

After twenty minutes, I got bored with the lake.  I realized it was probably just a man-made retention pond. And I also realized the Trump caravan sighting, while annoying, was stimulating!  I was chasing new geography and the geography was certainly different, but the people weren’t.  And neither was I. 

While my intention was to get away to a green and peaceful place, away from the tourists packing into my condo for the holiday, I could not get away from myself.  I am, anywhere and everywhere, restless and seeking a not bland utopia.

Damn. Drama, drama, drama.

Wherever I go, there I am. 

James, you got that right!

XO

Joyce