I miss plumber's crack . . .

Dear you, I really miss the classic “plumber’s crack”.   Here’s why . . .

Covid-caution has prompted a rise in self-reliance, or so I hear.  People are mastering all kinds of skills because they are wary of contact.  Facing a necessary repair today (replacement of a totally blown out kitchen faucet), I was encouraged to join this new-skill-mastery club.  The optimistic suggestion came from a receptionist at a local and very busy plumbing company (they are all busy, plumber shortage).   She told me “you can do it!”  I replied, “so not happening!”  However, I promised to purchase the replacement product and give it a go.

Hours later, after a long consultation with an Ace Helpful Hardware Man (they are helpful), I selected the Moen “one handle pullout kitchen faucet”; the box declares that when you “Buy it for looks” you “Buy it for life”! (OK, as noted previously, I am wary of commitment so this potentially lifelong relationship with a faucet freaked me out.  But whatever.)  I returned to the condo, a new level of war-zone noisy due to roof replacement, and opened the box, spread out the contents and studied the directions.  Immediate halt.  While the brochure instructed me to shut off the hot and cold water valves before installing the new faucet, it did not tell me how to remove the old faucet.  And I couldn’t figure out how to shut those valves off anyway. Then there was the parts list:

Installation tool, deck gasket, outlet hose, supply line hot, mounting bracket, mounting nut, hose protector, hose weight, faucet body, O-ring and screen, spray wand, pullout hose, supply line cold, deck plate, deck plate gasket.

I could only identify three of those things with absolute certainty, the faucet body, spray wand, and the O-ring, because it was the only thing shaped like an O.

Indeed, this was not happening!

Surrender.  Seek professional help. I did and called the busy plumbing company once again.  Results: the perky receptionist said “he” was out handling a toilet emergency.  And the other “he’s or she's"?  All booked too.  Surrender again.  Seek any kind of help you can get.  So, I called the totally uncredentialed handyman who works around the condo complex. He also lurks around the condo complex more than he should, but again, whatever. Result of this call: “he” MIGHT be able to help tonight. Oh joy.

Having failed the self-reliance test, I have come to this; I am waiting ever so hopefully for a confirmation call from a lurking, uncredentialed handyman.

And this is why I miss “plumber’s crack”, the professional kind.

Kisses and appreciation to all professionals; plumbers, ethical politicians, poets, peripatetic acrobats on my roof, et al.  Your ranks are dwindling, and I hate to see you go.

XO

Joyce