Friday, October 1, 2021

Showtime!

 


Dear you,

Everything feels like a movie now.  I know I have a dramatic nature and pretend my life is a Baz Luhrmann production, but really, everything feels like a movie now.  Some titles and plots align with what passes for my reality:

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

The Daniel-Day Lewis character, a surgeon and player, returns to his home in Prague in spite of the Soviet occupation.  He does this for love, love of homeland and a woman.  The once lively city is drab and paralyzed.  He stays anyway.  Ah, love.  Me.  I return to Floribama, watching the destruction of land, water, and wildlife. I stay anyway.  Ah, love?

The Year of Living Dangerously

No real plot connection here, but the title is all 2020 (and even 2021).  The simplest, dullest things are life threatening. I go shopping surrounded by hordes of Covid deniers! How daring!  I go to the dentist as soon as the mini-shutdown in Florida is lifted!  Daring!  I walk around outside without a mask, risking contact with vacationing drunks who just have to hug me!  Daring!  I go to random open houses and breathe not-so-fresh air in confined, overpriced spaces!  Daring!  I eat questionable takeout from the one Asian restaurant that hasn’t closed due to fear, fear of the local idiots who blame the “China Virus” on them. Daring!  Everything is dangerous now.  (A commercial just aired raising alarm about the dangers of cleaning the gutters on your roof.  Pulling leaves out of roof drains while standing on a ladder is lethal!  I am not at all interested in doing that.  But I have been known to pop bread in the toaster without washing my hands first. Daring!)

Gone with the Wind

Dear white nationalists, cry all you want about the end of an era and cancel culture, but those stupid Confederate monuments are coming down.  Good riddance.  Goodbye.

 Apocalypse Now

We are all end-of-days characters these days, heroes or villains, depending on your point of view.  Charlie Sheen is the protagonist on a mission (Willard).  Marlon Brando is the antagonist on an ego trip (Kurtz).  This morality tale took more than a year to film.  It was hell.  It was like being in hell while making a movie about hell.  Meta-hell. During the odyssey, Charlie Sheen suffered a nervous breakdown and a heart attack.  Marlon Brando (Kurtz) showed up for the gig looking more like Jabba the Hutt than a charismatic anti-hero.  Cinematic failure seemed unavoidable, but in the end . . . a masterpiece!  The hero lives and Mr. Kurtz?  He dead.  I intend to survive the apocalypse like Willard/Sheen.  And I hope whatever Kurtz symbolizes today heads into the abyss taking “the horror” with him.  Fuck the apocalypse.

The Devil Wears Prada

On my most misanthropic days, I am Miranda Priestly.  Everyone disappoints me.  Everyone is fat and stupid. Everyone is wearing their own versions of hideous skirts.  And everyone moves at a glacial pace.  You know how that thrills me.  That’s all.

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

That would be most women in America now, the “handmaids” aside.  Apparently, our bodies belong to the be-fruitful-and-multiply overlords. 

Jesus Camp

Better known as busy season at my condo complex. The converted and the converters get all drunk and destructive, but it’s okay because they do so while wearing charming Bible verse t-shirts.  Testify!

It’s all show biz, folks . . .

That’s a wrap.

Joyce

 

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