There's a VAX for that . . .

Dear you,

Last Friday I received my first shot of Moderna.  I am halfway to invincible! The day of the injection I was nervous but excited.  At my age, I didn’t expect side effects.  Other seniors I’ve spoken to only suffered a tiny bit of injection site pain.  Unfortunately, this was not true for me.  I experienced dizziness, chills and fever, random body aches, blurry vision, throbbing injected arm from shoulder to hand, and mega exhaustion.  The hours directly after the shot were strangely pleasurable, floaty, like I had smoked some really excellent weed.  But ten hours in, the buzz ended and the drama started.  It took me days to get back to normal.

So much for the first shot “not so bad” rumor.  It seems my immune system thinks she’s twelve years old.  She went DEFCON1 fighting that virus shot. I guess that’s good. My system knew to attack instead of just roll over.  But if she chose the nuclear option after shot one, the supposedly easy injection, what will she do after shot two? Don’t think about it . . . Don’t think about it . . . Don’t think about it . . .

Just keep thinking about a return to invincible!

The after-effects are worth it.  Vaccines are amazing.  We need more.  If we have an “APP for that” for virtually everything, we should also have a “VAX for that” for virtually everything. I want immunity from/an end to the following:

Leg hair

Conservatives

Spring breakers at the condo complex

Everything at the condo complex

Joe Namath peddling Medicare benefits

The persistent body odor smell at my local Tom Thumb (in)convenience store

Sean Hannity

Underwear

Those passive-aggressive “have a blessed day” ladies

Mortality

Oh, happy day when I can get those shots.  Side effects be damned.  No more compulsive leg shaving, chasing that smooth as Barbie feel!  No more cranky moods caused by invaders, body odor, or Sean Hannity!  A world full of groovy people going commando!  And none of that dying thing.  Perfection.

What is on your wish list?  We can make a VAX for that, someday.

Love,

Joyce

PS – Thank you Moderna!