Things that truly suck!

Dear you,

We got a picture this week of our galaxy’s black hole, Sagittarius A*.  It is 4 million times the size of our sun and 27,000 light-years away from Earth.  These holes suck in everything that comes near them; they’re massive gravity pits.  But this one, experts say, is tame and not aggressively on the hunt. I feel bad about that. Look at that photo!  He’s adorable.  Maybe little Sag* just needs encouragement.  He needs tempting snacks.  Let’s feed this little sucker some of the things that really suck here on planet Earth.  That would be a win-win for both of us. These people and things suck and deserve to be sucked up (suckage karma), banished from our Milky Way:

Republican Senate candidate Kathy Barnette:  Some of her tweets have surfaced saying things like “banning Muslims is NOT unconstitutional” and (my favorite) “Please PRAY for my babies and me.  We are about to board the plane and there’s a homosexual female.”   [There’s a homosexual female where?  On the wings of the plane?  And why is this prayer-worthy?  If God is gay, and he probably is, I don’t think these prayers will be appreciated.]  Kathy, Kathy, Kathy. #SheSucks

Cryptocurrencies:  The current stock market dips and dives are making us sick. CNBC won’t stop talking about things like Bitcoin and their plunge in value. I don’t know anything about Bitcoins or crypto in general, so now I am forced to self-educate and stumble through tedious articles on Yahoo Finance filled with incomprehensible (to me) stuff like this, “One difference between the current environment and other prolonged downturns such as the ‘crypto winter’ in 2018 is the amount of institutions now involved in the market, which may be a source of support, said Paul Veradittakit, a partner at digital asset manager Pantera Capital.”  I lived through a crypto winter four years ago and didn’t know it. I’ve never heard of Pantera Capital.  Don’t they make sandwiches or something? Oh, wait, that’s Panera. This makes me feel old and crypto-ignorant.  #ThatSucks

Marvin Peavy and Herschel Walker:  The Trump Won, Let’s Go Brandon banner guy down the street just added a third piece of visual pollution to his vulgar house on 30A, a Herschel 2022 banner.  Herschel Walker, former football player, recipient of a restraining order for domestic violence, and bloated head-case suffering from dissociative identify disorder, wants to be the Georgia Republican candidate for the US Senate.  He hopes to replace the honorable Raphael Warnock.  For the love of god, Sagittarius A*, make these deplorable men go away.  #TheySuck

Leaf blowers and lawn mowers:  In addition to the stomping and slamming noises produced by our condo “guests”, I have to endure the nerve-shattering screams of gas-powered leaf blowers and lawn mowers. I remember talking to someone from California once about these devices.  She was shocked and asked, “but aren’t they illegal?”  Sure, if you live in a civilized state. These damn tools aren’t just noisy, they are nasty sources of carbon emission and air pollution.  CNET.com’s Brian Bennett wrote about this and quoted the California Air Resources Board as saying “just one hour of gas leaf blower use is the equivalent of driving 1,100 miles.  Running a gas lawn mower for the same period equates to a 300-mile drive.” They blow.  They mow.  And #TheyReallyReallySuck

My bad mood:  Covid, the Trump thing that won’t end, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, inflation, the housing shortage, global warming, etc. etc. etc.  I have a million reasons to be in a bad mood.  But I am sick of being sick of things.  Please, Sag*, take my bluesy mood away.  #ItSucks

There’s today’s menu for my new friend in the galaxy.  Surely, there’ll be more suggested entrees next week, and the next, and the next . . .   

Help us, Sagittarius A*!  Bon appetit.

Love and kisses from your favorite Earthling,

Joyce