Hey, bartender!

Dear you:

Last Wednesday's Republican debate featured the best stuff first.  Mr.Graham, referring to his bar-owning family legacy, quipped if he is president we will DRINK MORE!

I'll drink to that.

Should I chat about the latest perplexing banter or controversies?  Or should I just stick to Donald, The Movie . . . something we are all watching helplessly.  What is up with The Donald not teaching the weird "Obama is a Muslim and not born here dude" the facts?  Oh wait, The Donald was one of the original birthers.

I am quite confused about this whole religion thing.  What does 'god' have to do with a socially constructed institution called religion?  Gettin' all literature teacher here,  aren't our religious texts simply writings authored by people?  Talk about unreliable narrators.

Buckminster Fuller (check him out on Wikipedia for an impressive resume of thinking and doing) said god is a verb.

I'm getting way too deep.

Happy September, sliding into fall . . . the best one ever, we hope!
Kisses,
Your Joyce

Everyone's cushy little world . . .

Dear you!

As we celebrate Labor Day tomorrow, consider two work related stories in the news that make me want to line up shots and knock 'em all back:

1.  The Kentucky clerk who won't issue marriage licenses to gay couples because of her religious beliefs.
2.  The flight attendant who won't serve cocktails to passengers because of her religious beliefs.

 First Amendment rights.  As for religious actions of choice, in public, in the marketplace, on the job, why are these women asserting a right to prevent OTHERS from doing things they choose? Is their cushy little world so easily disrupted by "different strokes for different folks"? (Flashback to old television sitcom.) Control, control, control.

If I do not condone gay marriage (a Supreme Court smack-down legal thing), then I will not marry someone of the same sex.

If I do not condone alcohol, then I will not drink cocktails.

What on earth is going on?  If my job is to issue marriage licenses or serve bourbon on the rocks, I will do it.  These are legal actions, marriage and slamming back a strong one.

The blood shed for labor movements was not about these two distortions.  Frankly, it is just bizarre.

So, I think I will apply for that waitress job at Waffle House.  And then, I will refuse to serve waffles because it violates my religious beliefs.  You know, the mystical, spiritual power of batter and syrup, something to worship.

Sigh.

Walt Whitman:  "Let us stand up."  But these gals are crawling, fearfully.  Imagine the strength it takes to allow others their choices, their legal choices.

Sigh number two.

Nevertheless, all shall be well.  Or at least BE.

HAPPY LABOR DAY!
Kisses -
La Joyce

Trumpeting and other loud sounds . . .

 

Dear You:

The stock market is all over the place this Monday, reacting to China/Asian economic dynamics.  And Trump promises to fix our China problem.  How, we don't know.  But he is trumpeting Trump-life and gathered a crowd in Mobile, Alabama last week.  You all know this.  But here's my point . . .

As a born-in-Bama gal, I feel entitled to diagnose happenings there.  Generalizations are poison, but my birth state has a rather troubling history.  (How's that for a a euphemism?)  So when I see large, loud crowds screaming love at a divisive politico, I narrow my eyes and get defensive.  What is it they love?

When Donald sang out his usual talking points (never different) I scanned the crowd behind his podium.
Yes, there are the craftily placed African American attendees adding a touch of "See?  Donald is for ALL the people!".  But I couldn't take my eyes off the chick in the yellow dress (shift, mu-mu, nightgown, whatever).

Observe Yellow Dress Lady in the above photo, featured near Trump, to your right.  You should have seen her in action.  Each non-point-scary-claim the Donald made was followed by one of these reactions from Yellow Dress Lady:
1.  Wide mouth screaming.
2.  Wide mouth screaming with arms up in "touchdown" mode.
3.  Violent hand clapping.
4.  Violent hand clapping with head nodding.
5.  Fist in air with booing (this occurs when big T speaks of Clinton or the media).
6.  Maniacal laughter.
7.  AND MY FAVORITE:  Maniacal laughter followed by a full body spin, showing TV land her mullet hairdo.

Have I gone wrong here?  She could be a great gal for all I know.  But something about her represented what I fear about Trump supporters (notably in Bama).  I FEAR their FEAR of everything new, creative, progressive, edgy, or simply different.

Which puts me in a bit of a bind, doesn't it?
Fearless Joyce fearing "them".

But at least you and I, darling, were miles away from Mobile on that given night.  And I recommend we stay far away.

Have a fear-free day :)
Kisses,
Joyce

It was the best of times; it was the most fucked up of times.

Dear you:

A busy July for us all as we swelter, sweat and feel everything shifting.   Shifting is good.  But destruction (negative down shifts) is not so good.  I cannot get past the recent environmental disaster.  The Animas river is running orange, a toxic cocktail from abandoned mine waste.  Ironically, the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) accidentally released the sludge.  Millions of gallons of horror are flowing down to other rivers, other regions, bringing fresh hell as it rolls.

What can I do?  What can we do?  For every problem there is a solution, right?  Try Google!  And I did.  I Googled the phrase "solution to Animas river" and got nothin' but bad news.  One expert type optimistically claims next spring's mountain-snowcap melt will wash it all away.  I thought we didn't have snowcaps left.  And we have to WAIT until 2016 for a "maybe this will help" event?

Shades of 2010, when the BP spill bloodied up my Gulf of Mexico.

Sad sad sad.  And I had hoped to return to Blogger with pithy comments about the first Republican debate.    But that is way-old news.  I'll just share something from our favorite satirical news source (The Onion) instead.  In the meantime, party on.  Might as well dance it out!

Here is The Onion bit, for your enjoyment:

In light of Donald Trump’s controversial comments about Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly and the Republican Party’s divisive views on Planned Parenthood, many are wondering how the party will win the female vote in next year’s presidential election. Here are some ways the GOP can appeal more to the nation’s women:

• Make it clear that they think everyone, not just women, should receive less health care
• Offer direct, heartfelt apology to any female donors they may have offended
• Clarify that their war on women is really more of a limited-scale combat engagement on women
• Remind voters that they’ve been nothing but nice to their secretaries
• Redesign elephant mascot to feature wider hips and lush, batting eyelashes
• Simply repurpose time-tested GOP strategies for courting Hispanic, black, low-income, and millennial voters
• Deflect attention from party’s opinions on women by reminding voters they have dozens of other equally horrendous views
• Don’t lump all women into one category, but rather acknowledge female voters as individual baby-producing apparatuses
• Emphasize how cutting taxes for large corporations would benefit all women who happen to run large corporations
• Start search for presidential candidate over from scratch

Kisses- 

The Joyce

"Watch out for El Chapo!"

Dear you:

Mr. 305 talks back to The Donald!  The press of current events is relieved by the comedy (continuing) of politics.  And that is pretty tragic considering how politics is supposed to relieve the press of current events.

Check out this Business Insider article elaborating on Armando Perez's (Pitbull) reaction to Trump's idiocy: http://www.businessinsider.com/pitbull-donald-trump-el-chapo-2015-7.     In this short article, notice how he pushes Ms. Clinton and Mr. Rubio to "step it up".

Step it up!  I cannot see/hear that phrase and not think of the dance movies featuring that title.

Here are some alternatives to the "step it up" phrase, following the three word form.  These can be used in political, social, domestic or even taking-to-yourself-when-you're-alone contexts:

1.  Dance it out!  EXAMPLE:  Pitbull to The Donald, "Cut the bull and dance it out!"  Then they engage in a break dancing competition.

2.  Shove it under!  EXAMPLE:  El Chapo orders his crew to stash The Donald's body, "Shove it under the bridge."

3.  Slap it down!  EXAMPLE: If my composition students suffer writer's block, I say "Slap it down!"  (Meaning some words on paper, not me.)

4.  Drink it over!  EXAMPLE:  When Senator McCain is deciding if he should hire El Chapo to eliminate Trump, he says to his advisers "Let's drink it over!"   (Every decision is eased by martinis.)

5.  Bring it on!    Oh, wait, that's been done . . .

Enjoy the July heat and don't forget to drink it over!

Kisses from this place,
The Joyce



   

Independence Day 2015 - a fashionable, fabulous flag . . .

Dear You!

Explosively yours on this holiday, I contemplate the fashionable and fabulous American flag.  Just a symbol, yes, I know, but considering the recent murders in a South Carolina church (and a shooter who I can confidently label as racist-stupid) and the related actions to tank the NOT fashionable or fabulous Confederate flag, I just had to create a list.  Five reasons why our flag is fashionable and fabulous:

1.  The stars  cleverly represent our twinkliness (I know that is not a proper word, but indulge me), our shine-on optimism that refuses to buy the dire bullshit of Rush Limbaugh.

2.  The (straight line) stripes represent the wisdom of that old factoid "the shortest distance between two points is a straight line".  And that, my friends, is our version of getting radically liberating things done quickly . . . sometimes, at least.

3.  The passionate red is . . .  passionate.

4.  The serious blue is . . .  serious.

5.  And finally, the entire symbol itself reminds us that only here can a little boy like Donald Trump grow up to run for President!

Today, the warm, dreamy Gulf of Mexico, is a joy, a blessing, and a seriously passionate reminder to me that it is really, really GOOD to be here.  Here, saluting that fashionable, fabulous flag.

Happy Birthday to us :)

XO,
Citizen Joyce

Six times ten = ME!

Dear you:  I don't imagine I am Ms. Turner (Tina, Tina, Tina), but she is my role-model for moving on up in years.

Six times ten equals ME!

I really don't feel any panic or existential fright; I wonder if that lack of trauma is normal?

But this is my plan for moving in to this decade and on:
1.  I will continue to professorize with zest - maintaining a freelance lack of chains.
2.  I will continue to build the "body electric" - remembering the new yard work load is not equivalent to a dance-yoga workout.
3.  I will continue to cocktail and smoke - including fruits and vegetables in the mix.
4.  I will continue to learn "stuff" - tackling that Spanish language for good and forever.
5.  I will continue to not let the bastards get me down - keeping my teflon component solid.
6.  I will START to invent a new . . . . something.

Stay tuned for more info on what that something is.

Que sera, sera!

Kisses and elasticity -
J