Greg Locke from Old Dirt Road

 

Dear you,

Be very glad you are anywhere but in the Panhandle beach scene now.  The crowding, anxiety, and general bad attitudes have reached all time highs; I guess I should say lows.  I dashed over to the west end of Panama City Beach to get a trim today and one of the stylists told me hotels are charging up to $700 a night now and through the July 4^th holiday.  $700 a night for PCB?  It is really trashy there, even more than here on 30A. Chatty haircutter also told me her phone is blowing up, “friends” calling from Georgia, begging for a place to crash.  Georgia, again, the Marjorie Taylor Greene type of Georgia, coming in hard and steady.  Them, and of course Tennessee guests, disembarking by the truckload all over the place.  These TN visitors may or may not be devotees of that state’s demented pastor, Greg Locke, featured above with our favorite pillow guy.

Locke is in the news because of his latest sermonette-rant informing his audience that Pence is Judas, VP Harris is a “jezebel demon”, and Biden is a sex-trafficking “mongrel, he’s of the left, he ain’t no better than the Pope and Oprah Winfrey and Tom Hanks and the rest of that wicked crowd.”

Oh. Dear. God.

Who is stupid enough to believe this man?  His church, Global Vision Bible Church, is located in Wilson County, Tennessee, a suburb of Nashville.  As usual, I suggest you use your Google, check out the organization and their website littered with mission statements like “we believe the Bible is the perfect Word of God.”  Greg, Greg, Greg, ever hear of the Council of Nicea and Emperor Constantine, the clever creator of Christian theology brain-twisters like:  Jesus is the son of god but not God-god, but still all blended in with god because, you know, one substance, so same but not because the Holy Spirit is included in the clump as a ghost that is holy, not like Casper zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sorry, I tend to doze off when overwhelmed by bullshit.  But I can promise you whoever god is, she is really getting tired of these holy roller jackasses making stuff up. But back to Pastor Greg.  The website also posted his church address.  It is on Old Dirt Road, Mt. Juliet, Wilson County, Tennessee.

Old. Dirt. Road.

So, as I do my daily power walk around the complex and check out the license plates of current guests, I will be on the lookout for Wilson County, Tennessee.  I will inspect their tires carefully and see if I can spot a lot of “Old Dirt”.  Then I’ll know what areas of the complex to avoid this week.

I hate it here.

Love,

Your wicked, Jezebel demon Joyce

Bad Pants

 

Dear you,

Juneteenth and Father’s Day, a combo weekend of looking back and looking forward while celebrating whatever the present is.  Before Juneteenth, I was thinking about labor again, prompted by constant complaints from our vacay crowds who slouch into Seagrove Beach relentlessly demanding service. There aren’t enough people to serve their food, clean their rentals, or ring up and stock product at stores they patronize.  I checked employment sites online to see what gigs were posted the most in my county. As expected, restaurant cooks, servers, bussers, hostesses and retail everything were in demand.  In the retail area, I saw a post by Lululemon, the infamous “yoga-inspired” athletic-wear company.  Our Lulu is west of me in Grayton Beach.  They need “educators”.  What?  Teachers?  Fitness trainers?  Why educators?

I found out.  This is yet another company with a hocus pocus mission.  Buy our stuff and be better.  Buy our stuff and be spiritual.  Buy our stuff and be John Galt, Ayn Rand’s model for self-interest.  The ad was long and filled with strange contradictions like this:

“You integrate fun and joy as a way of being and working (aka you don’t take yourself too seriously).”

“You lead with courage, knowing the possibility of greatness is bigger than the fear of failure.”

Okay.  The first descriptive wants the Lulu salesperson to be bubbly and chill; hey, we just sell stretch pants here so whatever.  But then the second suggests the Lulu salesperson should be like Rosa Parks or Ruth Bader Ginsburg, serious people doing serious things, not just sales pitching lycra.  When the ad is edited, the job comes down to this:  you must be available any day and any hour; you must render geisha-like customer service while answering phones, restocking, and cleaning out dressing rooms; you must man the point of sale device while doing all that; you must do inventory; you must close the store, open the store, clean the store (toilets too), and take out the trash; you must prepare garments for hemming and pinning etc., etc.

In other words, you are working retail darling. Where does the educating thing come into play?  Oh, here:

“You are an expert in creating world-class guest experience in our retail stores.  You deliver this experience by connecting with our guests, sharing top-quality product education, and speaking authentically about our community and culture.”

Okay.  Describe the stretch pants.  And testify about our “culture” like a cult member.

We really need to be freed from this kind of bullshit labor.  If you want to buy (or sell) a decent pair of stretch pants, you can get them at Walmart for less than $20; they will last a long time and the cashier who rings you out is now being paid a decent wage without having to speak big love for Wally.  Plus, she doesn’t have to clean the bathroom at closing. Or “lead with courage”.

Dear Lulu, leading with courage is something Juneteenth celebrants understand for real.  As do all our good fathers.  So, drop the act and own what you do.

You sell stretch pants.

Happy Juneteenth! Happy Father’s Day! (Even to the vacay dad I encountered yesterday who was flagrantly peeing in the parking lot.)

Love,

Joyce

Long hot summer headline haiku . . .

 

Dear you,

I asked my friend Eric for an assignment yesterday, something schoolish and diverting.  He said do a crossword puzzle and pick three words from it for a haiku.  This would satisfy one of my basic needs to create order out of chaos, shape something into a disciplined form.  I know I am not alone, feeling rattled by the cacophony of current events. Like Yeats said, “things fall apart; the centre cannot hold”.  With that in mind, I adjusted the assignment a bit; instead of a crossword, I would use the news as a base.  Headlines read like poetry sometimes, dry facts delivered with cold concision, like Morissettte’s jagged little pills. 

So, here are my adapted headline haikus, honoring the 5-7-5 syllable form (minus referencing nature):

From The New York Post:

Last night mass shootings

Stoke fears in three shaken states

A bloody summer

From The Hill:

                China takes a stand

                “Days of small groups ruling world

                Are very over”

From CNN.com:

                Trump’s tariffs haunting

                Kentucky’s whiskey makers

                Red state self-destruct

From ABC News:

                McDonald’s patron

                Spits at one poor worker bee

                Then shoots another

From NBC News:

                She is like my Mom

                Says Biden post tea party

                With iconic Queen

From Joyce News Wire (a.k.a, the voices in my head):

                In Floribama

                Sunburnt anxious souls acting

                As if pain is fun

Another from Joyce News Wire:

                In spite of all this

                Earth on fire and dissonance

                My cat naps smiling

And to close, I mimic the famous words of newsman Walter Kronkite as he signed off every night:

                That’s the way it is

                This good Sunday June Thirteen

                Twenty Twenty One

Haiku, over and out.

I may not be able to adjust the reality of current events, but at least I can mush them into a 5-7-5 pattern.

We do what we can.

Thanks, Eric!

Joyce

Pride, look for the rainbow . . .

Dear you,

Happy LGBTQ Pride Month! 

Hot pink: Sex

Turquoise: Magic/Art

Red: Life

Violet: Spirit

Orange: Healing

Yellow: Sunlight

Green: Nature

These are colors that can be found in versions of Gilbert Baker’s rainbow flag.

I went bopping around the condo complex looking for those colors on balcony flags or even on bumper stickers.  Well, you know where I live; the odds weren’t good. I went from building one to building fourteen searching for that rainbow or any progressive symbol.  Other than the occasional innocuous “Honor Student on Board” or “Adopt a Rescue Pet” stickers, I didn’t find much.  At least those messages made me smile.  But then I saw this on somebody’s rear window:

How lovely. Is this like a patriotic fetish thing or something? I wasn’t sure what this flag skull was all about, so I turned to the ever-useful Google for basic information.  I learned this image is based on the Marvel Comics Punisher character.  The creator did not intend it to be used as it is these days, as a sign of support for ultra-conservative, far-right movements.  Salon.com, 2019, featured an article with this headline: “The Punisher skull: Unofficial logo of the white American death cult”.  A bit from that article by David Masciotra: “One of the impetuses for its popularity was a reactionary objection to the Black Lives Matter protest movement.  Thoughtless defenders of police amid allegations, or even video evidence, of unethical use of fatal force, adopted the Punisher skull as a sign of loyalty to the unbreakable ‘blue line’.”

The Skull flag. A symbol of violence, literalism, death, callousness, disease, ignorance, and nihilism.

The Rainbow flag. A symbol of sex, magic/art, life, spirit, healing, sunlight, and nature.

Considering the contrast, the rainbow wins. Simple math:  Rainbow Flag > Skull Flag

Saluting everything that is “greater than” during this LGBTQ month, year, era . . .

Love,

Joyce

I am going for WOKE, Mr. Gaetz

(Above compliments of Daily.Kos)

Dear you,

Memorial Day, a tribute to all who died serving in the military.  And of course, a perfect opportunity for my twisted congressman Gaetz to exploit the service in his weekly email.  Here is a part of his nonsense:

“30 Republicans stand up against wokeness in the military . . . This week, I was one of 30 congressmen who signed a letter to Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin.  We have had ENOUGH of the left-wing extremism that is politicizing our armed forces.  This madness has no place in our country.  Political operatives, like Bishop Garrison, have got to go; attacking our troops and honorable men and women in the services for their personal beliefs is a dereliction of duty to America.  I will always stand up for the men and women who dedicate their lives through service to this country.  I hope that Secretary Austin will hear our concerns and act accordingly so we maintain the strength of our United States Military.”

I wish everyone, especially Matt Gaetz, would shut the hell up about wokeness.  How is this a bad thing?  The verb is the past tense of wake.  Good morning!  Come out of that sleep coma and be gifted with another day.  The adjective means alert to injustice in society, especially racism.  Matty is standing up against being awake and alert to social injustice. Aiming for a Woke Military is seen as an attack on all our troops.  Well, dear boy, I refer you to The Military Times, not exactly a media source that can be labeled as lefty or part of the “MSM”.  Back in February, 2019, they reported “one in four troops sees white nationalism in the ranks”.  That was two years ago; I imagine it is worse now. Garrison has been appointed to focus on eliminating this disease in the military.  You seem to think that the recruit who honors the Confederate flag is fit to serve and that this affection for past treason and slavery no less is just a “personal belief”.  Sure, let her/him be an asshole and wave that flag.  But really?  Allow that person to serve in the military?

I want a 100% WOKE military. Got that, Congressman Gaetz?  I am in the minority here in your district, but I am still the boss of you and I need you to stop being such a deplorable idiot.

Now, go enjoy your holiday barbecue with Marjorie Taylor Greene.  And good luck with that running for president in 2024 fantasy; the other Trump mini-me, Governor DeSantis, has the same dream and he will rip you apart.

That will be fun to watch, at least for the woke.

Happy holiday!

Joyce

 

Truth, getting it back . . .

 Dear you,

I can’t do a backbend or a cartwheel anymore.  Bloody depressing truth. So, I have put these moves on my “get it back” list.  This decision was inspired by a teen doing gymnastics around the condo pool.  She was fabulous.  I was motivated to emulate her flexy joy and headed to the open space in the middle of my living room.  I began with the cartwheel attempt. And nearly ripped a hip.  Bad idea.  I haven’t done that move in years.  Time to work on it bit by bit.  I can get it back. Then I went for the backbend.  And nearly snapped my spinal column.  Very bad idea. I haven’t done that move in years either.  Work on it bit by bit.  I can get it back as long as I keep it real, keeping my silver-senior-status in mind.

I know I can do this.  The final moves may not look pretty, but I will execute the stunts!  This “get it back” thing is not unreasonable or a fantasy.  And I am not lying to myself or you. Unlike my neighbor down the road, the former displayer of a giant “TRUMP 2020” banner.

The election banner disappeared in January, after the insurrection.  I imagined the owner didn’t want to lose any vacation bookings on the off-chance liberals (or non-lunatics) might want to come to Seagrove Beach. Therefore, he took his banner down.  I loved that!  I could drive back from the local Publix without being pissed-off by embroidery. But guess what appeared this week on that vulgar vacay house?

“TRUMP WON”

Another enraging banner. This one?  So much worse.  The previous statement was election support, free speech.  This new statement is just a lie.  A big old lie hanging over coastal road 30A in Seagrove Beach.  Does owner dude believe the lie?  Does he really think Trump will “get it back”, the presidency or his Twitter account?

Dude, it is not happening.  This is something you can’t get back.  Put it on your list.  Blather on about your America First dream (nightmare) and repeat the lie on and off cloth.  But here is the truth:

“TRUMP LOST”

Okay, maybe you will never believe that truth.  Maybe you are doing this just to own the libs (or up your rentals from bright red state visitors).  But it is just not reasonable.  It’s a fantasy.  Like, what if I thought my future backbends would look like this:

No.  Right now, I am realistically/truthfully aiming for something like this:

I could stitch up a banner saying JOYCE WON THE OLYMPIC GYMNASTICS GOLD MEDAL and hang it from my balcony.  Or I could not lie and just focus on what is true, what I can get back . . . a bit more flexibility, bounce, and the ability to laugh at embroidered propaganda.

That I can do.

Kiss kiss to you, dear neighbor . . .

Good luck,

Joyce

Name your EV Queen Elizabeth!

 

Dear you,

Let the panic buying begin!  Governor DeSantis has declared a state of emergency due to gas shortages caused by the recent Colonial Pipeline hack.  But then again, he says not to panic; there really is no shortage.  Just a state of emergency.  Whatever, Ron.  I am not panicking.  I have a fuel-efficient little Hyundai and I filled him up the day the story broke about the hack. No panic, just preparation.  And I am also, with a hopeful heart, preparing for a future of no gassing up, ever.

I started researching EV’s recently since I want to X-out fossil fueled choices for my next car buy.  I happily discovered there are charging stations in my zone (!) and when I leave the condo and live in a real house, I can charge the vehicle at home.  I unhappily discovered charging time is LONG, as in eight hours for a full recharge.  I am impatient and have tossed items like rechargeable shavers or Water Piks simply because I couldn’t endure their minimal charge times. Like even thirty minutes.  But I guess moving on to something Earth-saving is going to take a little patience.  And knowledge.  I am wading through all this information about kWh and Level 1 chargers versus Level 2 and distance per charge. The Hyundai Kona will carry me around 250 miles with a full battery.  How does that work for a long road trip?  Do I have to book a hotel stop every 250 miles and plug the car into my Holiday Inn’s bathroom outlet?  I guess I’ll need a really long charging cord and “frequent guest” discounts.

There is a lot to consider here.

But still, my next car will be “E”; I want to be part of something better, something new.  Perhaps in a year or so a lot of the difficulties will be worked out.  Perhaps not.  There will be reluctance and a lot of flailing around in the name of security, the economy, and even “god”.  And then, of course, there is politics.

The typical Republican is resisting the end of our fossil fuel life.  Big Oil owns them and probably a few Dems too.  But today, I’ll focus on the “R” side, specifically Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo.).  Earlier this year she introduced bills to block Biden’s plan to pause leases for oil, gas, or coal on federal lands.  She did this to protect the “interests” (oh, that word again) of Wyoming, a huge producer of all three. She promised to (according to the Casper Star Tribune) “keep fighting for fossil fuels”. 

Fight away, Rep. Cheney.  I hope you lose. You are defending a dirty industry and holding us back.

But on the other hand . . .

There is today.  As you know, Cheney was removed from her leadership position in the House because she refuses to kiss Trump’s ring.  She will do whatever she can to stop that maniac from ever returning to the White House.  This woman is not going down without a fight and in this battle, I am on her side.

As the cancelling of Cheney unfolded, I kept thinking about the woman thing too.  Would her refusal to back Donald’s big lie be judged as cancel-worthy if she was a he?  Even today, minority leader Kevin McCarthy admitted the election was fair and Biden was President.  (I bet he is ignoring urgent phone calls from Mara Largo right now.)  He is still there and safe.  In the Senate, old Kentucky Mitch and Mitt Romney are still there too, and both have spoken against The Donald.  There are other dudes in the House and Senate who have survived their moments of mild-anti-Trump-speak too.  But this woman hasn’t, at least in terms of her leadership position. 

Another “nasty woman” takes a hit.  Deviating while female will cost you.  Virginia Woolf knew this:

“Across the broad continent of a woman’s life falls the shadow of a sword.”

Cheney understands this now.  I appreciate that she is not flinching as the blade approaches her political throat.  Today, after the punishment, she said “bring it on.”  Wow.

Bravo, strange ally. I would like to visit you in Wyoming and hear your stories, your political memories and hopes, but it will take me a while to get there.  I have to stop every 250 miles and spend the night because I am driving an EV, something you hate.  She’s a Hyundai Kona.  Give her a chance.  You might like her.  And besides, I’ve named her after you and another famous leader of men (and women): Queen Elizabeth!  The first one, quite a warrior, she.

Bravo, Liz.  Don't let the bastards get you down. Wish you were on my side in all things.

Thank you.

Joyce